So the title says it all. I had a horrible situation with eHarmony and I blogged about it. Then about a year later they sent my email an “icebreaker” from some user called “Craig”. I found that a bit crazy. I had no account with them, so why was I getting an “ice breaker.”
This is exactly what they sent me, a member who hasn’t been active for a year.
Your profile just made Craig smile.
Breaking the ice is a fun way to start a conversation. Log in to check out Craig and decide if you want to make the next move.
“ I am most passionate about helping others … i like to see others succeed … where I have failed. ”
– Craig, 42 from , Lindenhurst, New York
So what is going on here? Poor Craig from Lindenhurst thinks I am on the site. When I tried to unsubscribe, the link sent me to a page to re-activate my account. Now that I have continued to blog about this, some unknown user harassed me on this blog. Right after I basically shut that mess down, I had eHarmonyJack try to follow me on twitter. I blocked him immediately.
eHarmony is either still using my account without my consent, or this “Craig” person doesn’t exist. I feel sorry for anyone who thinks I am still on the site. It is really unethical for eHarmony to use defunct profiles as some type of bait for active members.
I think it is really sad that so many companies take advantage of people looking for love. And why harass me or any other blogger? The good folks at eHarmony should expect some dissatisfied customers. Anyone who has had a bad experience should have every right to share it with the rest of the world. Match.com, OKCupid and Jdate never sent me emails like this.
I have heard that eHarmony likes to tell people they are undesirable. Well consider this your forum. If eHarmony deemed you unacceptable, or if you had a bad experience on the site, please share your stories here!
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I will leave the first reply! HA! One of my best friends on this planet is going to marry a man she met on Match.com. They have been living together for years and are extremely happy, as he is a great guy! And guess what? He was rejected from eHarmony! No kidding.
Apologies, but I have the kind of personality that isn’t easily categorized into this or that. I’ve taken almost every psychological profile test imaginable, so I know many of the questions before I’m three words into it. I also know I have that rare supposedly irrational personality quirk that makes me try to view every issue from multiple perspectives – the author’s, the readers, a third party, a fourth and so on… so things aren’t so black and white with me. I’ve gone from being a Democrat to being a Republican to being an independent and I’m almost a political agnostic now… all because I don’t believe in any of the party platforms, I believe they’re all wrong. Same thing for religion, even though my father was a minister – I have a very deep history there in a number of different ways.
So, years ago, when I was single, I contemplated joining eHarmony and even took the book-length psychological profile, saying anything less would be misleading. I got to the point, however, part way through, that I was absolutely disgusted with the questions. It didn’t take me more than a few minutes of staring at the page to decide to end it all. So I closed the window, never to return to eHarmony.
Instead, I returned back to my bar days, except virtually. I went to a bunch of online sites and found others who looked interesting (in other words good looking), looked at their height (which was important to me), read their profiles and contacted those who I knew I would find interesting. I didn’t want anyone from eHarmony fixing me up on what amounted to a blind date because even I can’t say I prefer blondes to brunettes to redheads to… It felt too much like a co-worker saying “Pssst, hey Joel, I know this nice girl…”
By the way, the woman I fell for defied all my expectations. What it all boiled down to was that we could talk for hours. I cherish our differences. I look forward to our disagreements. We grew up in the same time period and saw the same events from entirely different perspectives. We communicate well and will continue that into our 90s… I hope.
Thanks Joel! I appreciate your well thought out comment and I am glad you met a good woman!!!! ! I would love to get more. I haven’t had much luck dating since I left my husband, and online has been a bit of a nightmare for me, but eHarmony was the absolute worst. Their site made me angry so many of their “matches” were so way off base.
I got rejected because I didn’t make enough money.
Did they tell you that? I honestly wonder how I made it through the selection. I had to prove I was divorced first which was kind of a pain in the ass but it was definitely a good idea. I make next to nothing so I have no idea how I got through, but it is an expensive service.
Here’s my story, with a little bit of pre-rejection exposition.
Between 2003 and 2008, I tried the online dating, specifically match.com, lavalife.com, and date.com. Overall, it was a poor enough experience that I vowed never again to spend money on online dating again. I went into a “I don’t really give a crap about dating” phase. While I would’ve liked to date more, it didn’t bother me that I didn’t, if that makes sense.
Flash forward to 2011, about April or May. After a bit of blow to my ego (long story, but suffice to say, a girl was involved), I took it badly. Several folks suggested okcupid. I pointed out my vow, then they said it was free. So, I decided to check it out. Turns out I already had a profile which I had made during my “don’t give a crap” phase and in that time no profile views or emails. “That’s not encouraging”, I thought to myself. But, I decided to plow ahead, writing a profile, re-writing it several times, sending out messages, etc.
This past weekend, after 9 months and no success, I was fed up. I disabled my account, and then acted like a mature adult and bitched about it on facebook, swearing off all online dating for good. A friend suggested eHarmony. I was, to say the least, skeptical.
This past Wednesday evening at work, I thought about it some more. Despite having my iPod on, I heard a commercial on the radio at work; it was about eHarmony and how they were having a free communication weekend. Seeing that as a sign of sorts, I resolved not to let my poor attitude and previous experiences get the better of me. Thursday morning, I sat down at the computer and began answering eHarmony’s questionnaire. After being as honest and sincere as I could, I clicked the submit button. “We’re very sorry, but our matching system cannot predict good matches for you.” I felt simultaneously enraged and humiliated. As an added insult to injury, they told me in that rejection message that there were other sites I could try.
I googled “rejected by eHarmony” and found your blog and decided to share. I’m not sure if this will help anyone else rejected by eHarmony, but airing it out makes me feel less crappy. Thanks for the venue.
My friend is marrying a man in May that was also rejected from eHarmony I think they have been together for six years now…the company is just strange. Don’t take it personally at all! 🙂
Well, I wasn’t exactly rejected but I was told by eHarmony I could get more matches if I were change my drinking preference. I had put down I rarely drink, and said I wanted the same for a partner. eHarmony thinks I should change it to someone who drinks 1x to 5x a week. I was like what? I’m supposed to LOWER my standards??? Please. Please. Plus the personality profile put that I had negative traits of being ‘hardheaded’ and ‘judgmental.’ To me, that is waaaaay out of line. I though eHarmony was about helping you get married rather than trying to insult you or scare people off! Of course, when I went to cancel the service, they lay this entire trip about how I really, really need their services to find the right person. Meh. I’d rather stay single than go through the eHarmony crap if that’s what it takes to get married. Just because a person has standards doesn’t make them ‘judgemental.’
Out of all of the services I have used, eharmony was the worst, and then they have had the nerve to harass me on this blog and my twitter account. They are unethical in many of their practices and to tell you that is appalling. They just wanted to fit in their system better so they could give you more matches. It’s all about numbers to them. I would get tons of completely inappropriate matches all the time. It was just a total waste of money and I couldn’t even finish the three month run.
Pingback: Dating Online: eHarmony is useless! | julietjeske
hi, these posts make for very entertaining reading,
I’m a male from the UK and have had very similar experiences with EH
the way i see it is this…as i’ve paid for a subscription ..I & i alone should be able to choose what i want from a potential match, whether tall, small, petite, large etc
when others talk of having a thing against men who are.. ahem…vertically challenged etc it’s up to the subscriber to decide what they want & if anyone else has a problem with that then it’s their problem & they can go dry their eyes.
My experience so far with EH is as follows:
matches arrived 7 at a time each day, for a couple of weeks
but…nothing like what i wanted, not even close
I’ll not even start with people who’ve no pics on the site – it’s the equivalent of going into a bar with a sack on your head
when i used the ‘what if?’ function (i’m sure the U.S have that?) i noticed a few women that looked half normal & their profiles read quite well, so after the initial shock of seeing light at the end of the tunnel had worn off, i then bit the bullet & messaged them…weeks past & the ‘waiting for response’ message was shown each & every time i logged on .. in the meantime no new matches were arriving…so i used the ‘chat’ function on EH to talk to the staff & ask what was the story with the ‘waiting on response’ messages, in particular, if the people i’d messaged actually paid up members? the answer came back ‘sorry we can’t disclose that information’ hmmm about as useful as a chocolate teapot then…
i then complained like an old woman with haemorrhoids that surely i should have the option of knowing whether i’m messaging paid or unpaid members? otherwise everyone will be just standing around scratching their heads teary eyed thinking nobody loves them….but kept getting corporate responses.. ‘be patient & you too may find your match’ blah blah blah zzzz
Being from the uk, it has a small population compared to the US but EH were also giving me matches that were overseas?! even though it was within 70 miles of my criteria… the thing is they obviously use google or some gps system to work out distances – that’s all well & good but when you get matches from overseas it’s hardly handy for a coffee, “sure jump on a plane” hmmm don’t think so, brains of Britain staff member.
I asked why they couldn’t see the elephant in the room that was this major flaw regarding distance & again more corporate responses……. i was slowly losing the will to live by this stage & would have had more enjoyment watching paint dry.
so all in all the whole thing has been a total shambles, an expensive one at that never to be repeated & we’re the muppets who’ve been had by the EH machine.
I’m off now to the local supermarket, maybe i’ll have the good fortune to meet a women over the bread counter that i can actually
1. see,
2. talk to
3. get response from (even if it is a ” go away, i despise hunky men” 😉
Your comment is so FUNNY! And I would agree, I suspect a lot of the profiles on the site are not active. I used to have a Match.com profile and had to go through extreme effort to it it totally taken down. I think the sites do that to keep their numbers up, but it’s sad as people think they are being rejected, when in reality the person may not be on the site anymore.
thanks for sharing and you really cracked me up this morning! 🙂
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