Close up of a cute baby 7-month old panda cub ...

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Panda bears in captivity, are notoriously difficult to mate.  For most species it doesn’t take much. Just put a male and female in the same cage long enough and mating occurs fairly quickly.  Big cats are so easy that even tigers and lions will mate cross species and reproduce sterile offspring called Ligers.  Donkeys and zebras can be cross bred to make Zonkeys and wolves and dogs have been doing it for years.  Most wild animals have no problem getting it on.   But then there is the Panda.  Zoos have tried to successfully mate pairs for years shipping males and females all over the world hoping to get the right combination.  Baby panda bears are born in captivity, but it takes more finesse then simply throwing on some Barry White, popping in a video of Wild Kingdom and shutting off the lights.

I have to admit that I rather admire panda bears for this quality.  For me it shows a level of intelligence, after all you don’t just any panda as a baby daddy.  Of course they are an endangered species and if they only knew that then maybe they could go against their picky nature.

Since I have been single now for nearly three years I can relate to those big and fuzzy black and white bamboo eaters.  Try as I might I can’t get anything to work, and trust me I am trying.  Every time I think there might be a slim chance at something, it falls apart either by a misstep, or the chemistry is off, or lack of interest.  I have lowered my expectations so much.  I used to say that I was trying to search for a partner in hopes that I could still have a shot at reproducing but now I have given up that pipe dream entirely.   I used to search exclusively for a long-term committed relationship and now I just think to myself.

Just someone I could go out with a few times, more than once or twice…that would be nice.

Since I write about relationships, dating and divorce, people now ask me for dating advice.  I see myself giving dating advice kind of like asking a Proctologist on the best way to take care of your feet.   Sure a proctologist is a doctor, but feet aren’t exactly their specialty.   I know some basics but there is just so much I don’t know.   I feel comfortable giving men advice on bad dating habits since I see the same ones repeated constantly, or the best way to show their profiles on online dating websites.  I also feel like men need to hear a woman’s perspective on the subject since so many of them search for this very topic on my blog.  But honestly I have no advice for women because whatever I am doing is NOT WORKING!  Maybe I should just start getting loaded and end up taking home random men as some of my friends do and see who sticks.  I would rather not go down that rabbit hole but my current trajectory is getting me a lot of nothing.  So I look to the panda, the female who sniffs the expectant partner and then walks away.  Even though the very survival of her species depends on it, she just can’t be bothered, she knows something is not right.  A girl can relate.

5 comments on “Dating After Divorce: Sometimes I feel like a Panda Bear

    1. julietjeske

      Haven’t really tried yet, thanks for the heads up. I am really just trying to write the book, I blog when I get blocked. I don’t exactly have any credentials except that I have been published a lot on the Huffington Post. I only have a BA in theater and music…not exactly an expert.

      1. Joe

        Experience is your expertise! It is perhaps the most credible expertise one can have. Good luck with getting the book finished.

  1. captainscorpio

    Do you feel you have a good picture of what you want? I’ve gotten the idea from your writing that you aren’t looking for something casual, not in the long run, so there ought to be an end game, even if it’s not Forever (though it might be that, for all I know).

    I’m not presuming to ask what it *is* you want, mind you (though if you feel like sharing, hey, it’s your blog, and I’ll certainly be fascinated). Just wondering whether you feel you have a solid grasp of it.

  2. Ben

    I have a friend who’s in her late-30s that moved to NYC to go to school, and she’s lamented that there seems to be a real dearth of decent men to date there too…

    It makes me wonder, once I get the time to start dating again, what women are going to think of me? I mean, I consider myself a decent guy and when I read some of the stories you and others write about I’m horrified by their behavior, but it’s been a long time since I’ve been in the dating pool, who knows what people will think of me now as a divorced guy in his 40s?

    It’s certainly going to be interesting! 🙂

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