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Photograph of blue sky (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am adding the following disclaimer to all of my dating related blog posts.  I change details, and create composite characters when I write about dating archetypes such as “Mr. Houdini, Mr. Angry, etc.  I would hate it if someone wrote about a high energy blonde comedian negatively in a blog, so because of that I never include a person’s occupation or anything about their physical description.  I also change enough details that I doubt anyone I am referring to would even recognize themselves if they read one of my articles.   I have split one person into three, or taken several people and put them all into one example.  So simply put, I am very ethical on this blog.

One of the stages of a break up is my personal favorite the “What the hell was I thinking, I am trying not to laugh, why did I date you again?” stage.

I am using myself and a former lover here as an example but this of course applies to both genders and every sexual orientation out there.  The post breakup “see the light” moment is universal.  Everyone can relate to this.

Not every break up leads to this epiphany as some are just too painful.  And you probably will never reach that level in a divorce since most marriages are so much more overwhelming than a dating situation.  But when you finally reach that point post-breakup it is a bit exhilarating. And if you are able to reach this with a former spouse then kudos to you!

Since some of my regular readers know at least one person I have dated in the past I want to clarify that none of you know who I am talking about.  From my past mistakes I have learned to keep some things to myself and none of my friends actually ever met this man.  And that is all I am going to write about it.

But I just thought I would share this blog entry since last night, something reminded me of how wonderful the feeling is, and I know we have ALL BEEN HERE.  Men and women alike, gay, straight and bisexual we have all wasted time pining away for a lover that was just no good for us.  I also won’t comment further on the nature of the relationship or breakup but I don’t think he was really crushed when I broke things off.

Stages of a break up.

1. I really can’t be with you anymore, this has become toxic we have to break up

2. Did I do the right thing…maybe I want you back?

3. What if situations could have been different – run through all of  the scenarios in your head

4. I can’t see him, I don’t want to be around him too painful

5. What the hell was I thinking?  The man is a weirdo a loser and I am better off. 

You finally get to a point where you feel like nothing he says or does will touch you because you just don’t care anymore and it is wonderful.

No matter what stunt, or dig your ex tries to throw your way you just laugh it off and think to yourself…LOSER

No matter who he ends up dating, even if he tries to shove it in your face you think to yourself poor girl he is a …LOSER

If he insults you, to your face, you merely laugh…try to not insult him back and think again…LOSER

If he posts things on Facebook, Twitter or other social media trying to get you upset you only think…pathetic LOSER

You are finally free, free of the demon of regret that haunted your mind.  You finally woke up and decided that you broke up for very good legitimate reasons and you are truly happier and healthier apart.  And it wouldn’t matter when you dated or the place you were in your lives you are simply not compatible.  Or you realize your former partner was just not a very nice person and did not treat you well.  It may take a few days, it may take months it may even take years but once you reach that nirvana it is indeed pure bliss.  I hope if any of my readers out there are lamenting about a former lover that you one day end up at that special place.

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