This blog is about a lot of things, dating, divorce, and depression but occasionally a story just jumps out and screams…WRITE ABOUT ME.  And strangely this one called to me.  I often tell my friends, especially my young friends the following phrase after a nasty break-up

“You Dodged a Bullet”

Marriage is not exactly easy and there is nothing worse than getting married to the wrong person.  I know Mr. Pattinson will not read this but I wish he would.  I know none of the parties involved with this scandal will read this but I am going to write it to the universe because I just need to get it out.  I have never seen the Twilight movies or that Snow White one…and I even had to look up how to spell almost everyone’s name involved in this story, but here is one lonely divorced gal in her late thirties opinion.

Director Chris Weitz (left), actress Kristen Stewart, actor Taylor Lautner and actor Robert Pattinson (right) attending the Twilight Saga Film New Moon (Twilight Chapitre 2 Tentation) Photocall at the Crillon Hotel in Paris, France on November 10, 2009. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Robert Pattinson: Break ups are horrible, you feel betrayed, hurt, damaged, lied to, burned, and disrespected.  You have every right to have conflicting feelings….but don’t be a fool.  Run, run fast away from your former co-star and don’t look back.  No matter how much you loved her, she blew it and I mean that literally with a married man.  Thank your stars you aren’t married to her, you don’t have assets to split, kids to fight over, mountains of messy paperwork and lawyers to stretch out the horrible process of your divorce only to leave you financially ruined.  You are a young, tall, gorgeous, movie star with a British accent in the United States…it is just a matter of time before you meet a new age-appropriate starlet that WON’T cheat on you.  And just look in the mirror, the tousled hair, the eyes, the smirk…you will not have a problem.

Kristen Stewart at Hollywood Life Magazine’s 7th Annual Breakthrough Awards (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Kristen Stewart: You screwed up, big time.  Not only were you caught cheating, but caught cheating with a married man and father of two.  Meanwhile you were dating a man who could go into any bar, coffee shop, bookstore maybe even a convent and have his choice of USDA prime vagina.  You are also breaking up a fictional union which tens of thousands of tween fans have elevated to mythical proportions.   I can’t imagine the hate mail you are going to get.  Look you are human, you are 22 years old, we all do stupid things but you are better off not marrying anyone before you are ready.  And obviously something was wrong here or you wouldn’t have cheated on your cutie pie boyfriend with some 41-year-old dude…maybe you just have a thing for Brits…maybe you have difficulty with monogamy…maybe you want to be your generations Liz Taylor (and we all loved Liz but lets face it her personal life was a bit of a disaster)…who knows…call up your publicist and lie low for a while.  This too shall pass and heck you are the highest paid actress in Hollywood things will work out for you.

Rupert Sanders (Photo credit: Gage Skidmore)

Rupert Sanders – Could you stop being such a cliche?  A director has an affair with his leading lady nearly 20 years his junior!  How shocking!  And not only do you cheat on your wife but you have an affair with a woman who looks like a younger version of her!  No wait, your wife is hotter and you know it.  Your wife was the famous one when you got together and you were lucky to nab such a lovely creature.   Your marriage might have been in trouble, marriage isn’t easy and marriage with children is even harder.  But getting caught cheating on her with a woman who played her daughter in your last film?  OUCH!   And I am sure your wife was happy for the work but she is only 11 years older than Kristen, so she couldn’t actually be Kristen’s mother, although you could easily be Kristen’s father.  Plus your kids are going to find out about this and you will have to deal with their judgment.  You had better pray your wife forgives you or your life is about to get a lot more complicated.

Liberty Ross – I don’t really know much about you, but from what I read it seems you met your husband when you were really young.  You married at 24 and bore him two beautiful children.  You recently said in the press how proud you were of him and overwhelmed with happiness by his success.  I am sorry.  That is really all I have, as I don’t know more about this but no matter what was going on in your marriage you didn’t deserve this and your children don’t deserve this.  Hang in there.  You are not alone.  A lot of us have been betrayed and humiliated by our spouses…trust me my ex is a gay clown.  Try living that one down.  And it is just my opinion and all, but I think you are much more attractive than Ms. Stewart…for what that is worth.  You have some modeling photos on the internet that are downright smoking hot.

Twilight Fans – It’s going to be OK.  Kristen and Robert are actors playing roles and not your beloved characters.  They both have agents, managers, publicists and entire teams of people working with them on everything they do.  They probably work out like crazy and eat next to nothing…and they are working so often that they have very little time to spend with their family or loved ones.  They also have the press follow them everywhere and dissect every move they make.  The life of an actor is not exactly as fun as it might seem.

But Run Robert Run!  You don’t have kids to worry about you don’t have over a decade together, you can make a clean break.  It sucks, and it hurts but most of my divorced readers would agree…you are lucky she got caught.  You dodged a bullet.