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Texas Justice: Open Season on Sex Workers

Apparently in Texas life is cheap, especially if you are Craig’s List escort. If you haven’t read about it yet, here are the facts. Ezkiel Gilbert shot Lenora Ivie Frago.  Gilbert openly admits that he shot Frago because she wouldn’t have sex with him, and he wanted his $150 back.  The injury initially left her paralyzed but she died nine months later.  According to him she wandered around his apartment for 20 minutes and left to give the money to her driver, who ended up being her pimp/boyfriend.  Of course we don’t have her side of the story.  The link to the article is here.

Texas Jury Says It’s Cool to Kill Prostitutes For Not Having Sex with You

Here a few scenarios of what might have happened.

  • She could have arrived fully expecting to have sex with Gilbert – he brandished a gun – she got scared and tried to flee.
  • She might have intended on ripping him off of the $150 and the whole thing was a scam
  • She may never have agreed to sex with him in the first place, he misunderstood the situation, threatened her and she fled.
  • She could have agreed to sexual relations with him, but he wanted to engage in sexual acts – risky behavior – sex without a condom, anal sex, bondage, urination, defecation, blood, etc.
  • Maybe she agreed to oral sex, or fondling and he expected intercourse.
  • It may have been her protocol to give her boyfriend/pimp the money before engaging in any sexual activity with a client.

In any event she didn’t deserve to die for her actions.

He claimed he didn’t mean to kill her – yet he shot her in the neck.  He also claimed he was just trying to get back his property – $150 for an illegal act.

There is so much wrong with this case.  Was her only option to consent to being raped to avoid being killed?  Can a prostitute refuse a client she thinks is dangerous, violent or expecting more than what was mutually agreed upon?   Does that woman still have some basic rights of safety?  Because the act was illegal, the victim had no legal recourse if Gilbert threatened her, beat, raped or refused to pay.  Gilbert knew and understood that basic fact. Even if it was a legally binding contract with boundaries written out in detail she backed out of the deal – he shouldn’t have been able to act as judge, jury and executioner.   Sex is not like every other commodity.  It not as if she was selling a motorcycle, took his money, and drove off.  If she feared for her safety or her life, it is reasonable that she might bolt.

The Texas law allows people to use force not just in self-defense, but also to protect their property.  Because this case involved an illegal transaction – Texas has just set a precedent.  Drug dealers should not have to face charges if they murder anyone as long as the murder involved property.  The mafia could have a field day in Texas and avoid most murder charges.  And what is to stop any number of bogus claims of late night robberies to justify cold-blooded murder?

All that being said, what is not spoken here is that the woman’s life had little value in the eyes of the state.  I can’t imagine the same outcome over a disagreement between two men and a nonsexual crime.  Many women in the sex trade enter into it out of desperation – some are undocumented, drug-addicted, or victims of violence.   The sex industry couldn’t possibly exist if it wasn’t for the marketplace of men willing to pay for sex.  The state of Texas may not agree with the idea of prostitution but it isn’t going to go away any time soon.  No woman should die for refusing to have sex with a man, not even a sex worker.

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Dating After Divorce – Bad Boys and Psycho Bitches

English: The American actress Tara Reid. Franç...

English: The American actress Tara Reid. Français : Actrice américaine Tara Reid. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

One subject that comes up a lot in the comments section of my articles run along the following lines.

“Well logically most men wouldn’t be as interested in dating a divorced woman in her late thirties for a number of reasons”

Something about the words logic and dating together didn’t sit well with me.  Sure, I understand that generally speaking men might be attracted to younger women with less baggage.  And in theory, both men and women seek out mates that are healthy, mentally stable, and kind.  Logically a potential partner should make us feel good about ourselves, make our lives easier or improve it in some way.   This is all true, but I tend to find many adults don’t always use logic when looking for a partner.

And since dating since my divorce baffles me, I can’t help but think of the following two categories of people who always seem to attract mates–Bad Boys, and Psycho Bitches.

The Bad Boy – Has more than one of the following qualities, if not all of them

  • Unstable income or no income – sometimes wealthy
  • Criminal history
  • Serial Cheater
  • Physically Attractive – although not always
  • Initially charming
  • Children with multiple partners or unknown children
  • Engages in reckless behavior, drug or alcohol abuse, dangerous hobbies, sports
  • Brooding, mysterious and or emotionally unavailable
  • Example – Kevin Federline, ultimate bad boy – Charlie Sheen

The Psycho Bitch – The female equivalent of the Bad Boy

  • Unstable or no income
  • Criminal history
  • Serial Cheater
  • Physically attractive – although not always
  • Children with multiple partners possibly with unknown paternity
  • Engage in Reckless Behavior, drug or alcohol abuse, dangerous hobbies, sports
  • Hyper emotional, dramatic and wild
  • Example – Tara Reid, ultimate psycho bitch – Casey Anthony

Of course a person can have one or more of those traits and be emotionally balanced and healthy, but to have several probably indicates they are a hot mess.   And yet both bad boys and psycho bitches are rarely alone.  What is so attractive about either?  Logically the craziest and cruelest among us should be the least desirable partners, but that isn’t often the case.

I know of one woman who I would put in the “psycho bitch” camp.  She tells somewhat unbelievable tales of her former relationships to anyone and everyone.  Her past couplings have included physical and emotional abuse, police intervention and even attempted murder.  She will also freely admit to past drug addiction, being institutionalized, mental problems, and medical issues so severe that she survives in part, on disability.  She openly advertises her craziness to the universe and yet she hasn’t gone for more than a few months without a boyfriend or husband.  She is not young and beautiful and she is hardly charming.  I don’t get it.  Do these men not see the multiple red flags flying in the breeze as they approach her?  How much louder could she scream “I am a train wreck”

And then there are the ultimate bad boys, men on death row, convicted of horrible vicious crimes finding sympathetic female pen pals.   One of the most disturbing and prolific serial killers of our time, Ted Bundy even had one admirer relocate to Florida to be closer to him during his trial.  She eventually married him and gave birth to his child, while in full knowledge of his stunningly horrific crimes.  And she was only one of many, apparently Bundy received loads of fan mail from adoring women.

I read about a theory into the evolutionary reason to why some women are attracted to “bad boys”.  It was along the lines of bad boys are risk takers, and risk takers were advantageous during the time of hunting and gathering.   Once humans developed agriculture, stable and secure men, were more advantageous and won the upper hand.  I didn’t really buy into this theory since most bad boys I have known, usually lived off of a woman, either a girlfriend, wife or mother — not exactly risk takers.   And so far as I can tell no one has bothered to study why men would be attracted to such volatile women.   Mommy issues?  Masochism?  Love of drama?  I have no idea.

Is it the sex?  Are bad boys and crazy bitches great in bed?  From my own experience and from that of my friends I don’t think that is always the case.  I have heard many tales of seemingly passionate bad boys being a snooze fest and of crazy bitches who just lie there.   So although sex might play a factor in some of the bad boy, psycho bitch success, they are not always incredible lovers.

Does any of this make any logical sense?  For some, taming the wild shrew or the getting a Casanova to commit is the ultimate achievement.  For the people who love dating bad boys and psycho bitches, romance has to be full of pain, drama and passion.

Since the overwhelming disaster of my divorce I crave a  stable and calm relationship.  I don’t need to soothe the raging beast of some wild man-child.  But I keep seeing examples of it all around me in both men and women.  So I have to laugh a bit when someone points out the logic in dating.  Just like so many other aspects of human behavior, who we choose to date isn’t always so logical.

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