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The Pro-Life Fringe: Where Todd Akin gets his insane ideas.

, member of the United States House of Represe...

, member of the United States House of Representatives. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have had several requests from my regulars to blog about Missouri senatorial candidate Todd Akin‘s remarks about rape.

“It seems to me, from what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare,”  “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down. But let’s assume that maybe that didn’t work or something: I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be of the rapist, and not attacking the child.”

As soon as he uttered those words, the firestorm of backlash was overwhelming.  People were shocked that anyone would believe such things about pregnancy and rape, sadly it was not the first time I have heard such theories.   My devoutly Catholic parents dragged myself and my three siblings to multiple pro-life marches and protests throughout our childhood.  I was often singled out at these protests because I was born in 1973, the same year that the Roe vs. Wade case made abortion legal in all 50 states.   So when I heard Akin’s uniformed rants I knew where I could find the source of this misinformation.  One of the loudest voices in the anti-abortion movement is Dr. Jack C. Willke, a one time surrogate to presidential candidate Mitt Romney and the former president of the US National Right to Life Committee.   Willke and his wife are authors of  “Why Can’t We Love Them Both: Questions and Answers About Abortion.” first published in 1971.

The following is a direct quote from an article in the LA Times

It’s  ”just downright unusual” for a woman to get pregnant from a rape, Willke said in an interview Monday. He said studies have shown this to be true, but produced little evidence beyond a few footnotes that cite a handful of decades-old papers. “This goes back 30 and 40 years. When a woman is assaulted and raped, there’s a tremendous amount of emotional upset within her body,” Willke said, adding that this trauma  “can radically upset her possibility of ovulation, fertilization, implantation and even nurturing of a pregnancy.” “No one really knows” how often those emotional effects prevent pregnancy, Willke said, but he estimated that there are just one or two pregnancies for every 1,000 rapes. That contradicts research published in the 1990s in the Journal of American Obstetrics and Gynecology, which found that the occurrence of rape-related pregnancies is 5%. More than 32,000 women experience rape-related pregnancy every year, the research found.  Scientists at St. Lawrence University in Canton, N.Y., concluded in 2001 that the rate of rape-related pregnancy is even higher — 6.4%, twice the rate of pregnancy from consensual sex.

I went hunting for more anti-choice propaganda on the internet and what I found mostly was website after website blatantly plagiarizing each other using the exact same language and data most of it misleading and inaccurate.   Here is a quote from one Abortionfacts.com

In a healthy, peaceful marriage, the miscarriage rate ranges up to about 15%. In this case, we have incredible emotional trauma. Her body is upset. Even if she conceives, the miscarriage rate is higher than in a more normal pregnancy. If she loses 20% of 600, there are 450 left. Finally, we must factor in one of the most important reasons why a rape victim rarely gets pregnant, and that is psychic trauma. Every woman is aware that stress and emotional factors can alter her menstrual cycle. To get pregnant and stay pregnant, a woman’s body must produce a very sophisticated mix of hormones. Hormone production is controlled by a part of the brain which is easily influenced by emotions. There’s no greater emotional trauma that can be experienced by a woman than an assault rape. This can radically upset her possibility of ovulation, fertilization, implantation and even nurturing of a pregnancy. So what further percentage reduction in pregnancy will this cause? No one really knows, but this factor certainly cuts the last figure by at least 50%, and probably more, leaving a final figure of 225 women pregnant each year, a number that closely matches the 200 found in clinical studies.

So the Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology found that there are about 32,000 rape-related pregnancies and AbortionFacts.com claims there are around 200.  The numbers aren’t even close, one is an advocacy group intent on ending legal abortion in this country and the other is a peer-reviewed medical journal.   The Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology is not a political organization so why would they fabricate the numbers on rape-related pregnancies.  While the pro-life site uses heated language such as “assault” rape and not just rape, as if there is a difference.  Most women are raped by men they know, not strangers on the street or intruders to their home.  According to Rape Abuse Incest National Network (RAINN) approx. 2/3 of victims knew their attackers before the rape, 80% of rapes occur to women under the age of 30 and 44% are victims under age 18.  Simply put most of the victims of rape are in the prime of their reproductive years.  Human beings are designed to get pregnant, even though a woman is fertile for only about three days a month, sperm can stay alive inside a woman’s body for up to five days there by increasing the likelihood of pregnancy.  The anti-choice groups also like to point out that in some rapes the male attacker does not ejaculate inside of his victim.  Pregnancy can still occur from the amount of sperm found in per-ejaculate fluid.   It is also widely known that rape is a highly under-reported crime due to added stigma and shame towards the victim.  So no one really knows how many pregnancies are the result of rape, and we probably never will.  Then there is the issue of a rapist demanding custody and visitation of his victim’s baby.  In 31 states, a rapist  can sue for custody and visitation just like any other father.

In a way though Todd Akin did the pro-choice movement a favor, by pointing out how extreme the pro-life movement really is towards women.  From their perspective even a teenager who is raped and impregnated by her stepfather should go ahead and have that child and maybe even raise it.  So what if her life is ruined and she may have to stay under the same roof as her abuser who might go on to abuse her child as well.  Who cares if she is a minor and has few legal rights to rectify her situation, she should just accept her fate and become even more powerless and dependent towards her rapist.  Ethical dilemmas like these are exactly what caused me to go from the pro-life position of my youth to the staunch pro-choice position I hold today.  I just can’t help but think of worst case scenarios, such as rape victims, incest survivors, abused women, and women with extreme medical complications.  It is not for the government to make these decisions but should be a private matter between a woman and her doctor.

One ethical question I always love asking a staunch pro-life supporter is the following.

If you passed by a burning building and heard a baby crying, you run in to find a baby sitting right next to a container holding 50,000 frozen embryos and you can’t carry both out to safety.  Which one do you pick up and run out of the building the crying infant or the heavy container?  Most rational human beings would choose the baby although I guess there are some that might let the living baby burn to death to save the frozen embryos.

I can’t help but see this analogy played out on a daily basis while so many babies and children starve and suffer throughout the world, where are the pro-life advocates crying out for their well-being?  Where are the pro-life advocates rushing to adopt unwanted children?  If every child could find a home why are there so many in our foster care system?  Why are there millions of children who die every year of hunger, disease and poverty?  There are some in the pro-life movement that might adopt a child from foster care, or become active in children’s charities but you don’t see much of this sentiment on their websites.

And even my mother the same devoutly Catholic woman who raised and took me to those pro-life rallies found Todd Akin’s comments repulsive.  I guess since my mother had four children in the span of five years she knows how easy it is to get pregnant so she wasn’t buying his theory that a woman’s body has a way of “shutting things down”.  Even though my mother is staunchly pro-life, she does believe in an exception for rape and incest, and for any case where the life of the mother is in danger.   Unfortunately for Mr. Akin my mother lives in the state of Missouri and he definitely won’t get her vote.  Abortion is a hot button issue for many Americans, but if the pro-life side wants to be taken seriously they should stop spreading misinformation and lies.  If you have to lie to get your point across there is something seriously wrong with your message.

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Dating After Divorce: Disposable People

The above pair is my favorite pair of shoes on the planet.  Shoes, clothing, perfume, makeup all make me extremely happy.  The above pair I don’t wear often, but every time I step out in these I feel quite happy when they are on my feet.  Right after I got this pair of nearly perfect footwear there was a problem.  The sole of the heel broke off, and I didn’t realize it until I got them home.  The wear and tear of walking around on them like this had begun to grind down the heel.  I took them too my best shoe repair shop and for only $12 were repaired to a condition that was better then when I bought them.  The sole that the repairman placed on the shoes was thicker and stronger than the original.   Since my divorce, subsequent meltdown, massive depression and the recovery that followed I feel a lot like my favorite pair of heels.  Surviving my crisis and the hell that followed it has actually made me stronger as a person and a better potential mate for a partner, but the rest of the world doesn’t always see it that way.

I have written about this topic before in other blog posts.  In another article I called it “The Shiny Penny Syndrome”.  The idea that no matter how nice a partner you have in front of you, there might be something just better around the corner so why bother investing in keeping the partner you already have.   We have an epidemic of this mentality in New York City.  It only gets worse as we age and the older and more world-weary a person become the most banged up and tarnished they might seem to a potential suitor.  From the email and comments I get I have to think it is a common problem throughout the US, especially single people over 35.

I have read numerous articles about men getting so fixated on porn that real women do not measure up to the glorified standard of their virtual lovers.  A porn star is always young, ready willing and able with proportions and assets that few real women posses.  Never mind the porn star cannot actually be touched or embraced, or listen to a man’s problems, comfort him while he is sick or just sit quietly next to him on a sofa watching a movie.  The porn star is always the predictable and controllable.  She won’t call him with her own problems, won’t demand that he go to a party with her friends, won’t beg him away from a game, she won’t have a moody day when she wants time on her own, and she won’t nag him to do the dishes.   A porn star is always convenient, she does everything expected of her and nothing more.

Women also do this, expecting their perfect match to not only be kind, caring, and an amazing lover but also physically fit and taller than average.  The guy has to live close and have a good job, but not one that takes him away or causes him to work 14 hours a day.  He must respond to text messages, phone calls and always be emotionally available but not a wimp or too sensitive that he comes across as feminine.  He must love her friends and all of her interests and hobbies and never even think of straying or even look at other women.  Some women are hoping that the perpetually young, financially stable, quirky but masculine lover from their favorite romantic comedy will just bump into them on the street and change their lives forever.

Of course not every man fixates on idealized porn perfection and not every female wants some wealthy living breathing Ken doll with a stock portfolio to rival Mitt Romney.  But what gives?  Dating since my divorce has just left me feeling like a disposable girlfriend, good for an amount of time, then discarded without too much fanfare.  I have difficultly bonding anyway, so this type of behavior just makes me more wary, and more emotionally distant and distrusting.  Humans are more than the sum of our parts: a nice ass, pretty eyes, a good job or a decent apartment.   Why do we treat each other like this?  Why do I keep hearing stories from friends both male and female that sound the same.  Guy meets girl, gets really excited then drops her like a hot rock because he finds too many “deal breakers”.  Or girl meets guy gets really excited and then drops him when she realizes he isn’t exactly what she was looking for in a partner.

For some people in the dating pool, other human beings are nothing more than an object.  A new person is like a new pair of shoes thrown away when they don’t quite live up to their expectations.  The shoes looked so ideal at first, but once worn the shine is gone and the shoes tossed.   Meanwhile cluttering the universe are thousands of bright, shiny, new shoes that will surely fulfill expectations.  Perhaps it is our “You can have it all” consumerist mentality that is always preaching the gospel of never-ending search for perfection.  Why have a girlfriend with cellulite when you can have one with smooth thighs, never mind that you are 45.  Why have a boyfriend who is losing his hair, or is your exact height when you can date someone who looks like a movie star and runs a hedge fund to boot!

Are we turning into spoiled children who will never be satisfied?  Does our culture run on nothing more than pushing the next big thing down our throats?  And to get us to want more, more, more we have to feel bad about what we already have?  I don’t think we are quite there yet, and I hope we never get there.  After all we are human beings with flaws, dents, hang-ups and emotional baggage…and not just a lousy pair of shoes.

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