imgres

So what is a Dick Pic aka Cock Shot?  A photo usually sent via text or email, where a man shows off his penis. Some are close-ups of just the genitalia, others are full nude body shots.  The boldest dick pics include a face usually with a sexy expression.  Most are selfies taken with a mirror and a camera phone, but I’ve even got a few professionally done artistic shots in my inbox.  It’s such an epidemic, that nearly every single woman I know has gotten dick pics and often from men they’ve never even met.  Although I’ve never asked for one, I collect the photos I’ve gotten in a secret album in my phone.  I call it my dick pic collection and I openly mock it in my stand-up act.

Men who send dick pics must think: What would I really love to see about a woman I don’t know?

HER VAGINA!

And really bravo to men who like vaginas!  I know most straight men love them, and it is beautiful when men get excited about the wonderful universe that is female genitalia!

Women aren’t as visually stimulated as men are sexually.   If women really loved disassociated penises, we would just spend our days flipping through photo after photo of dick picks.  There would be websites and magazines dedicated to cock shots and dick pics.  Sure someone did dedicate a tumblr account to the anaconda between Jon Hamm’s legs, but for the most part pornography for women is much less graphic or visual.  Women consume porn is in the form of romance novels, erotica and soft core cable television.  If women desired the same type of visual stimulation and graphic sex that men did, then our country would be littered with strip clubs filled with naked men grinding on poles and doing lap dances.  Sure a few exist but they are mostly a novelty and nowhere near as prevalent as clubs geared towards straight men.  Men and women just aren’t wired in the same way.

An unusually large penis is not necessarily attractive to all women.  Just because something looks mighty and large doesn’t mean it’s a lot of fun.   As with many skills in life, it is not so much the tool as it is the technique. An erect penis is just so intimidating.  It says only one thing – this is the size of my dick.  It doesn’t indicate if a man is a good lover or a boring one. and it doesn’t let a woman know if he’ll be selfish or a bore. Good sex is much more than a big penis.

In our virtual world of streaming porn and instantly downloaded images of just about anything, the dick pic has become almost mundane.  Until recently they even showed up on online dating profiles.  In the past couple of years most sites have gotten better about filtering them out, but I did come across a few profiles that puzzled me. The primary photo was usually an erect penis covered only by briefs a towel, but then the rest of the profile read completely normal, as if the man was looking for a serious relationship.

“I just want to meet a nice girl who I can hang out with”

“My friends say I am one of the sweetest guys you’ll ever meet”

“I’m really close to my family and my mom.”

“I just want to meet a nice girl who will want to watch movies with me.”

“I would love to meet someone who sees the world in the same way I do, who is kind and caring and has a sweet heart.”

“My favorite books and movies are…”

When reading this profiles I couldn’t help but be distracted by their throbbing manhood.  It trumped everything.  I can understand using a cock shot in a hook-up site like Adult Friend Finder or tinder, but it just seems like overkill if a guy is really looking for something more.

If a woman just wants an emotionally detached sexual experience, she doesn’t need to know what your favorite movies are or that you are close to your mom.  Actually the fact that you brought your mother up at all when your main photo is of a cock is not only weird, it’s downright creepy.

f the men who post cock shots and dick picks are just looking for a hook-up situation, I understand why they would want to show off their sex organ. But then their profiles should convey as much. For instance in the About Me section, they should just write.

I am looking to hook up with women who live near me, I live in Williamsburg and I love oral sex.

That kind of profile goes with a Dick Pic, but

“I am just looking for the right girl, are you out there?”

That doesn’t really go with LOOK AT MY ERECT PENIS!

But now I wonder, what is a female Dick Pic?  Not in a literal sense of course, but what would men consider a red flag on a woman profile.  What would be something that might indicate a jump from zero to sixty?

  • Typing long-winded descriptions of our perfect man
  • Putting photos of our cats in our profile
  • Writing about biological clocks ticking
  • Smiling while wearing a wedding dress with a caption that reads – I want to get married so badly!
  • Mentioning our emotional problems, mental illness or therapy
  • Writing about past relationships
  • Posting a photo of yourself wearing sweats and eating ice cream
  • Having men in our of our photographs
  • Writing about past substance abuse problems

I’m sure some women out there get excited about dick pics.  After searching through so many boring faces, they stumble along a giant penis and think to themselves – FINALLY!  But I feel safe in saying, for the majority of straight women we would rather see one after we get to know you.

My website www.julietjeske.com

Follow me on Twitter https://twitter.com/JulietJeske

Add me on Facebook Juliet Jeske Facebook Fan Page

 

14 comments on “Dating Online – The Dick Pic

  1. definitelynotdita

    You forgot the “I took a SHIRTLESS photo of myself in the bathroom mirror with my iphone” Mmm. Sexy.
    I get that guys who have worked on their body want to show it off but have some dignity, wear a shirt that shows off your body.

    But I have to say, at least these all give you an idea of A: What this dude looks like and B: What this dude *is* like. What I can’t understand is the blurry “No one could possibly identify me from this photo” or the blurry, ugly, double chinned “This is obviously the least flattering photo of me on earth” photo. I really want to tag these photos and say “Really? THIS is how you want to represent yourself to total strangers that you’re hitting on?”
    And these are the photos that I see, like, 99% of the time. It cannot be THAT hard to take a flattering photo.

    1. julietjeske

      HA! Well of course, you are so right! The posed shirtless photo is so damn tacky. Like “Hey ladies….take a look at what I got” I almost have a rule, ANY posed shirtless semi-naked photos and you are disqualified. HA! If it is the look at me with my friends at the beach oh and I happen to not be wearing a shirt, that one I will allow. Because we have all been there right?

  2. julietjeske

    My other pet peeve and I am getting a lot of these because the guys don’t notice my age is this. A man aged 60 or more will put seeking women 20-35. Well I hate to break it to you buddy, but I am two years outside of your “box”. I am not exactly in their wheelhouse! What I really can’t stand though is the guy who is 38 who will put seeking women 20-35. I am like so you wouldn’t go out with a woman your age???? Or even a year younger than you? But you would go out with a woman 18 years younger than you..Classy! And good luck with the 20 year old. I sure you will have no drama or issues with a 20 year old. And I am also sure that 20 year old will be independent and take care of themselves…..oh wait…aren’t most 20 year olds still sort of living off their parents?! So if you want to “raise” your girlfriend or significant other, go for it. I would rather have an equal thank you very much!

  3. tom dolak

    dick pic is presenting behavior. that is, it’s is one of the variety of posture, gestures, and signals used for communication reproductive readiness. it’s routine among apes and there is quite a bit of literature on baboons and macaques describing this.

    the female online dating analogs are pics emphasizing cleavage, buttocks, and pursed lips (all frequently done in front of a bathroom mirror.)

    with both sexes the clearest message with presenting photos seems to be related to low self esteem. it is as if the subject has an inner voice telling him or her “you’re not good enough to be liked for your character – better show that chest (or butt or lips or…)”

    if you feel compelled to reveal your presenting behavior i’d say it’s always a good idea to check the background prior to taking these kind of shots. just to be safe. http://monsterfail.com/2011/07/06/bathroom-pic-poop-in-toilet-girl-fail-lol/

  4. Posky

    I sort of wonder if the female equivalent to the dick pic is anything other than a puss pic. Because it would seem as if the majority of men on these sites aren’t looking for much more than sex anyway.

    Mentioning that the old biological clock ticking is an immediate red flag though. If someone came up to me and started “I need to have a baby with someone!” and clawed at my face, I would have the exact same reaction if they told me on a first date. I think men want to think of women as more than just a baby portal– just like women want to think of men as more than just a hulking boner attached to a tiny withered body.

    Then again, I probably know nothing of what people really want from online dating world.

    1. julietjeske

      HA! That is funny! I completely agree! No baby talk on a first date, it is actually crazy to do so.

      1. Posky

        I think it could only work if it was done in a very flirty way and introduced as a money making scheme. I could see how I could get sucked into that.

        “Listen, if we got started right here right now, we could be $100K richer by the end of the year. That’s all I’m saying.” All the while winking like a madwoman.

  5. Raul Felix

    For me the female equivalent of a dick pic is a woman with kids in her photos. There is that old joke, “At least you know she fucks.” But, I personally refuse to date a woman with kids.

    1. julietjeske

      Well I am sure those women are better off, as at least you are honest and upfront about what you want. They wouldn’t want to date a man, who didn’t accept their children. Unless you wanted a psycho who was willing to drown their kids in a car in order to have you, and I am sure you wouldn’t want that kind of woman either. There are plenty of childless women out there who never want to reproduce.

      1. julietjeske

        I would say this, get a Vasectomy. They are relatively inexpensive, permanent (in most cases), and mostly fool proof and you will never have to worry about making a baby. No woman could ever get you for child support, no visitation and it doesn’t effect performance at all. I know several men who have had them, most after they have had kids and I haven’t met one who regretted it.

      2. Raul Felix

        Oh, I want to have kids. It’s just I won’t date a woman who has them already. One of my personal criteria is the woman also be childless. I want to start a new family, not join one that has been started already and dont want to deal with baby daddy issues. Also, I’m young, 25 years old, so it’s pretty easy to find a high quality woman without kids who want them 5 or so years in the future.

        1. julietjeske

          Well then go for it! I don’t want to date old men or men that much younger than myself, so we all have our standards. And if a 25 year old woman has children and isn’t married, well that is fairly young and she probably has other issues on top of it. Exceptions of course but it is a huge red flag. If I were you though, always use protection…some women lie. Never believe the whole “I am on the pill don’t worry sweetie” argument. If you want to plan when you have kids, then do it. Plus there are diseases out there and they are nasty. A new strain of Gonorrhea is going around that is resistant to antibiotics.

  6. Pingback: When Love Poetry, a Sex Shop and Bloggers meet for Lunch | JulietJeskeblog.com

Leave a Reply